Str!ngin Along

www.sefaliwo.wordpress.com

this blog has been a constant source of inspiration for me. it will be your daily dose of positivity, compassion and peace, should you commit to reading it. not only have i enjoyed its content, but i've been impressed by its organisation, its clarity and its diversity in representing all forms of expression: photography, art, videography, and creative writing.

please check it out, help a fellow blogger and be inspired always.

fightersalways xx

sleep well

Listen.

You’re not wrong for enjoying times with guys. Not all of them are going to last more than memories of a good night. Not all of them will ask for your number. Not all of them will talk to you the morning after. And even if they still do all these things, not all of them will keep talking to you, unless fate smiles upon you and you meet again.

You see you’re young, and being young means having a good time without any attachments, and yet having a good time without being reckless. It means exploring your tastes, diving in deeper into conversations, satire and minds you have never seen before, opening yourself up to a myriad of tumultuous experiences that should shake you up from rock bottom, or leave you where it found you.

Don’t try to hold on so tightly to anything. Just be easy and let it go. Enjoy it for what it is and let it go. Do your own thing, explore in your own way. Don’t be limited in your thought and yet, do not be too generous with it.

Having a boyfriend is okay. Dating is okay. Having a casual fling is okay. As long as your dignity, priorities and self-interests are not compromised, you should have a good time. You should be reserved enough to really highlight the moments when you let your hair down. Be economic with your speech, think before you say it and then when you do, speak to make impressions. When you dance, dance wholeheartedly, warm up a bit, and then really push at the boundaries, don’t be afraid to go for it. It’s a dance, it’s making up for what you can’t say in words, or do with actions.

Don’t feel like you’re constrained. Be open. Be mature. Be bold. Your confidence is beautiful and so are you. You’re only as good as you think you are. You deserve to feel good, as long as you work for it. And you are working for it, so don’t be afraid to be assertive, flirt a little and have some fun.

You’re young. You’re young. You’re young.

not a hypocrite

I really don't think that cutting people out of my life when they've hurt me is the answer anymore. I've done it to two people who really deserved it...and truth to be told, it really killed.

The first time, I think I was completely justified when I say sometimes you are going to get people that really don't deserve to know you. People that are just too small in themselves. End of.

For the second time, I would say that sometimes your part in their story is over. It is now their turn, and if they don't take it, you gotta keep moving on until they realise what they lost. If they come to find you, I really don't know what I'd do personally, but everyone deserves a chance to be heard. I don't know if I'd be friends with that person again, but I think once that person understands their actions exactly and acts upon that understanding to full a promise that they will never leave you there again, perhaps, then its worth taking them back.

Recently, I've been faced with a huge dilemma. Someone very special entered my life not too long ago, and I ended up liking that person a lot. However, mistakes were made, one thing led to another, hurt bred fear, and fear bred lies and next thing, you have it, I shoved the problem in limbo because I had to sort life out on my end before I could even think about addressing such a large problem.

It's hard to find the meaning in the moments we shared. It would be wrong to dismiss all of them and say there was nothing. There was a muted friendship, because one of our hearts was silent, and it was not mine.

Not knowing someone will mean you take a chance on them, and to make up for the time that you don't spend on them, you take guesses at their nature, or how they'd react to things or situations. You'd assume their preferences according to their personalities and what your mutual friends tell you. You start loving the person everyone else sees and the person you need to see in the time you have, and not the person that they are. Sometimes, it takes time, it really does, to recognise the finer things, to see the smaller nuances, and to feel those vibes that may go unnoticed. Sometimes it takes time or experience to truly see the worth of the person...this might prevent you from hurting them. Even though hurting someone should be completely unnecessary as a means of going about things, sometimes it happens like that. You will disappoint because you can't please everyone. But that shouldn't be an excuse for taking someone's integrity, or the respect they give you for granted.

Life is not about taking. It is and always has been about giving. Do not be prepared to speak words you cannot stand by, stand up for beliefs you cannot live by and live for a life you cannot be proud of. I am not a hypocrite, and I try really hard not to be. So I'm taking a chance on you, because you will need me more than you deserve me at the moment, and you are better than the mistake you have made. But do not take my love for granted again, because being my friend is not easy. I do not need people who will leave, because I will always be there.

So be fierce in your love, or don't love at all. I'd rather have a speechless animal by my side than a human being that cannot communicate what love is or deliver it entirely. 

Sky high; always

You know what?

Everything might really be happening all at once, and you may feel like you are totally mindf*k'd. But it's okay, and I'll tell you why.

If life really is testing you and it cooked up some bad shizz to see how far you could be pushed, stand up to it! Deal with it because I've realised that running away and putting all your problems into a corner will only just cram your mind and make you feel trapped, encircled by your swirling emotions and thoughts.

I wrote about everything you wanted coming at you like a train in your last 6 months of high school...and I meant it. It isn't going to get easier, no. How you deal with things though, that will always change because you grow as a person everyday. Look back, and if you've been true enough to yourself, you'll know that you should get stronger, so no matter what comes at you, you're ready to take the hit. (I'm a rugby player, I breathe that sport, so any reference to big hits, you know I know my shit haha)

It's been a while since I've been feeling really down about things. About people and leaving, about home and university, about family and friends and just generally, doubting, second guessing myself. Uh uh, not anymore. I'll y'all the truth, so you know this isn't some idealistic bullsh*t rant...

I got my final exams in 2 weeks. As of now I feel totally unprepared for them.
I'm waiting on a certain someone to deliver, to make up his mind, whether he really wants me in his life or not.
I'm sorting out my first semester at uni as well. All by myself.

Those are just a few of the things that have been eating away at my sanity. Apart from health-related issues within my family, my mom making her annual move to the US to study in her summer PhD program, the added responsibility of holding the house together and taking care of my family, I need to make sure I spend my remaining days in my hometown with the people who truly matter.


I've decided to really right-hook this b*tch of a challenge back. Man, I'm so done being pulled under. Listen to me, because I regret not doing this for myself earlier.

People who are gonna really want you around, really love you and really love your company, they gon' make an effort to talk to you. They are going to call to hear your voice, they're gonna send you funny stuff to make you laugh when you're stressed, they're going to hold you up even when you feel like you're done. Believe me, people who don't let you think nothing but positive, those are the kinds of people you need around you. Haters, cac talkers, and anyone else that's been bringing you down...let 'em go to hell, man. However, if these people are someone important to you, grab 'em by the arms, and tell 'em to wake the fk up. Because you don't need that right now, love, faith and hope, that's gonna get you by.

If y'all are at school, don't let your mind wander. Hit them books hard, make a real effort to study those concepts, you never know how useful what you learn will be later on in your life. Don't just study for the sake of studying, you'll never go through high-school again. Make it count. Your sufferings lol or your good times, make it all worth it.

If you need to say something to someone, make sure you say it. Screw waiting...sometimes, you won't get the chance again, and other times, maybe you just need to bloody do it for yourself. So you can fill in those empty places that they refuse to fill, just so you can move the heck on.

Spend your time carefully. Remember it's not meant to be easy. Always take it from a different perspective. Find someone who makes you look at life differently. Zoom out, look at the beauty in everything. Even through your most helpless times, use your inner strength. Don't let your legs buckle. I did. But I don't regret it. I was sent to my knees, it's a different view from down there.

Humility, understanding, acceptance - I'm nodding my head. Sometimes you gotta be weighed down, you gotta be brought down, and then when you rise, against all the odds, against everything that you feel could possibly go wrong, the feeling grows within you. Your purpose, your spirit and your drive is reignited. You'll get where you need to go. Don't worry, nothing good comes from worrying. Don't let your fire go out, dim your light if you have to. But live right on after, what is there to be afraid of when you want to live so true, so right and so hard?

My gloves are back on, man.
Sorry I took so long, but I'm back (:

Everything will happen the way it's mean to.
Bring it!

I was looking for a picture when I saw the source, it inspired me even more = http://love4amazed.blogspot.com/2011/10/god-gave-you-fighters-spirit-gw4365.html 

FightersAlwaysxx

Music that lifted my mood:

KiD CuDi- Sky High
Jason Mraz- I won't give up
James Morrison- I won't let you go

*big shout out to my girl Sefa and my bolo, Pataytay, Ange- you're a constant inspiration love you bro thanks for never giving up on me, you even prayed :P;  E <3 I have faith in you, no matter what xx*

'Two is Better than One'

"so maybe it's true,  that i can't live without you"

I'm going to start apologizing. Since it's something I'm pretty good at.

First,
I'm sorry you don't like that I stood up for my own self-respect and my integrity and the standards I keep for my friendship. I'm sorry you'll have to wait to see what you've closed yourself up to. Because that truth, that truth's real ugly

Second,
I'm sorry we don't have much time. You make me feel so good about liking you. I'm sorry this isn't transparent. I'm sorry I don't know your heart the way you know mine. I'm sorry I'm so hard to be around sometimes. But the thing is, I'm so unashamed when it comes to feeling for you. I'm sorry I don't know how to explain what this means to me. But I'm trying everyday. Because...I don't want you to ever look back on this, and think you didn't know how important you are to me. I want to make the most of the time we have, and I'm so sorry if it feels like I'm rushing...or that I'm saying everything before I forget. Thing is, all I want to do is just be there for you. Please don't put me out in the dark...I'm opening up to you and it's been so long since I've let this happen. I don't know, either. I'm clueless too. But I want to believe in what I do know, and there's just so much I'd do for you. Take me up, just give me a chance. If it means standing in front you, convincing you everyday, I'll do that too. I'm not desperate to be understood, not even by you. I'm my own person. But I can't help wanting you to be a part of my life. I just want you to stay so bad. You're a total stranger, but you're so close to me? I don't know how all of this is even possible haha. A meeting of two hearts earnest and true, blossoming at one touch, eternal beauty.

Third,
I'm sorry sometimes I can't respond as positively as I'd like. Sometimes, you gotta take a day off, and get rid of things that are making you sink. It's going to be hard because while you're struggling for breaths, you're fighting off all the chains, all the locks and you're trying to swim against that eternal force that just mentally drains you to the point where you check to see whether you're still physically intact.

Finally, I'm sorry that I will not kneel down to you and that I will not surrender to the world. I'll walk with it. I will not be swallowed up by this bottomless pit. I've got too much fight in me to be defeated the way you're letting yourself be defeated. I am not you. Do not bring me down with you. I've got my hand outstretched, take it or leave it.

A subtle lesson

http://www.thatonerule.com

I recently discovered this website and I thought it was pretty cool, a more general version of brotips, girltips, teenagerposts etc. This particular rule attracted me because of what it said about a smile.

One of my best friends is known for her constant ability to light up a room with her smile and infectious laugh. Smiles are also one of her favourite things, but sometimes I think she underestimates the power she gives people herself with her unique 'symbol'. A person's capacity for pain is always tested again and again until (I believe) that like the philosopher Khalil Gibran says, sorrow has carved so much into their soul, that their capacity for love has gotten greater. I firmly agree.

There is a certain fighting spirit you require to go through life. Some might walk through the door with their arms outstretched trying to be open and friendly and catch blessings as well as hurt as they go. But as people, my friend and I have always gone with both our fists up...because life isn't all pretty, it isn't all pleasant and it sure as hell can really bring you down sometimes. But that's the beauty of being human. It's what you make of it, it's how you deal with it. It's how you let things define parts of who you are and the only thing that should define all of you at the end of the day is what choice you make, I think.

It's so easy to find excuses and put obstacles in front of yourself. It's so easy to give up on what you believe in, in order to ease tensions or to soften an argument or to heal something that's breaking. But smiling through it all, with understanding and yet, the silent deadly will to prove to yourself first before you take on the world...that is what makes you more accepting of everyday struggles that go unnoticed. Plato, a Greek philosopher once said, 'be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.' So don't insult anyone's intelligence, make sure you've got yourself sorted, and just be good. Even when it's hard...because you never know when your fighting spirit, your smile, or your laugh is making someone else's, some weary stranger's day.

Keep the faith. (:

FightersAlwaysxx