invictus

mama i'll be on in 3 minutes,

i know i left the house slammin' the door,

but it's my big game,

and daddy, i know you can't stay mad at me

for doing something i love.

i got all ready to play, won't you get up to

look at me go,

red and black,

french braid in.

walking tall like

i made a personal deal

with God that day

to say that if i won

i wouldn't have to surrender to anyone.

see, we're a different kind of brave.

we know what's coming.

and yet we still behave

like we've got all these blessings

but we know all we got

is that jersey on our backs,

the wind at our heels,

the team,

the figures and the stats.

you've got 3 minutes

3 minutes to show us, kid, 

what you trained 52 weeks

and 10 days to win.

yeah the trophy looked nice,

but when when the pain kicks in,

everything else fades,

and all the panic starts to melt

the core of your fibre

as you start to repent,

as you start caving into the ground,

there's scream out your mouth,

and faster than a heartbeat,

you lost something you just 

found.

i know what it's like

and that's why i'm telling you this,

when we make the choice to play

we play to win.

so don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself,

don't do what i did,

get back out there,

get help,

get back in.

we're tough girls,

but we ain't stupid, oh no.

so sister to sister,

let me give you the respect

you deserve,

for standing up to more than

your parents, or the whole world

that asks the same question:
"why were you even playing you silly girl?"

i know what drove you,

and i'm telling you this,

when we make the choice to play

we play to win.

not to be defeated,

or consecrated,

be laughed at,

debilitated.

so you hang in there,
may your pride survive

with the humility this game

teaches us not to deny

because those 3 minutes

they missed,

was the time you owned the field,
making up for all the bruises you couldn't see

but you damn well could feel, 

the one time you proved it to yourself,

that when you made the choice to play the game,

my sister,

you made the choice to win.  
God bless you, and keep you safe.

Get well soon, Amen xx

Unlocked doors into Wednesday Afternoons

I was a moment on your lips.

I was a part of the sheets.

We were tangled in them.

We were separated

And yet we moved

We gripped

We pulled

Ourselves

All we knew

For all we felt

We never felt

Again.

I was on a parallel shore,

And I was running beside you.

A river separated us

And with a stream you drifted apart

So easily you disappeared into the horizon and I

Was lying against my own

When suddenly a vision of you appeared and

All I knew I forgot.

Just to be with you

I left it all

For a moment

To be with you

I’d forgive

All of you and yet none of you

I’d let live.

BITE your tongue

Contempt. curls on the
tip of my tongue
and bites, grinding
against the crowns of my teeth

contempt
burns in the back of my mind
and walks at the heels of my feet

contempt

layers life after love
with a brilliant cunning black streak

contempt
deals with the
world who has forgotten
their ignorance, the poor and the weak

contempt
is the reason
the air i inhale
feels like a foreign fire in my gizzard

contempt
brings out the claws in
my hands the savage in my blood
and the masses…

my heart beats faster---
it’s started

Carry it in your fist, throw it away

15 December 2011 11:40:01