frustrated

i've tried to get rid of this feeling so many times
i feel like it's just sunken in so deep
i can't find
anything i lost with you anymore
it's should seem like relief
man, i dont know anymore

it's gone from just thoughts
all the way down to my heart,
and now it feels wedged in between my ribs
this problem, that person, this story, that cut

i find it so hard to tell him that i love him
when i'm trembling inside
love might make you stronger
but love can make you cry
hurt is something we both have been so used to
i haven't shed a single tear
i'm trying to be stronger still
i'm feeling all the pressure
and yet i'm holding it in
still why should i have any right to do something like that
at the end of the day am i really going to leave him with that?
how fair is it when we have so little time?
how fair is it when he's so quiet about his heart, yet he's already got mine?
i don't want to screw this one up
so please don't take my silence for distaste
i'm hoping you'll be there for me
unlike the others, who leave before i wake.

i'm just standing here taking wave after wave
nothing is slowing down
nothing is stopping my world from caving in
nothing is swirling around me
it's like i am the debris, floating in empty space

she wasnt there when i needed her
she wasnt there for you either
why do you keep going back to that hurt?
hasn't life taught you? you love and you learn.
what kind of love leaves you crippled and blind,
surely not the type that makes you grow, uh uh not that kind.

i have to accept things are and will always be beyond my control.
but i'm human, i can only take so much.
i feel like i'm going to explode.
and shatter this frame
for this day, please God... no more.