My Name is A Form of Resistance

My name is a form of resistance
Against the anglicanization
and exotification

Of a body and a struggle

You don’t even have the

Syllables

To comprehend.

My name is a form of resistance

Because my mother

Named me for my Homeland.

She named me

to belong

No matter where

my feet would find me.

My name is a form of resistance

Because I was blessed in birth

To embody an oral history
that was kissed to my forehead
like a prayer
joining

Air and Earth
to Flesh and Blood.

My name is a form of resistance
Because it means hope and aspiration

in Sanskrit

across the Crimson scars you have left

on the faces of those

who have tried

to Rise.

My name is a form of resistance so

just because

You cannot pronounce it

Does not give You the right

To dismiss it

Or erase it

And then make me feel like

Suddenly

It doesn’t fit.

Because I respond to my name,

Battle cries,

I take charge in my name.
I am blessed unlike those

Who don’t need a face and story

To ground them to a history they see

Everywhere

I am visible in my name

So no,

I don’t have a nickname.

For I will not shorten

Or adjust even a bit of myself

To fit the capacity

you have

To stomach Me.
And my nine letters

Can spell

more defiance,

more passion,

more fire

than you will ever be able to extinguish.

My name is a form of resistance

because I was named for a purpose.

And like all things that have a purpose,

I will not rest
until mine
on this earth
is fulfilled.

So I will tell my stories,

I will them for they need to be heard,

And I invite pride to come into the hearts

Of those who wait submerged

For my name is a form of resistance.

And in it, I am empowered,

Loud, and clear.

Unnamed

The new world is poison
And you are an old soul
You've been tainted by its colours
You've been victim to its wounds.

Now you want to understand it,
Change it for the better
But you sit there naked in your letters,
Writing home in your worst.

Give me boxes, keep my stories
And let the bells of London toll,
I'm on the slave ship that sails asunder
I'm the stain upon its gold.

returning

Aboriginal Paintings - The Boomerang Effect

Hello again :)

It's been a while since I lasted blogged. Things aren't dying down as yet. In fact if anything, I'm getting better at choosing the things I need to ignore than actually learning how to deal with them.

Everything has an expiry date for me now. Every task I need to do. That's the only thing that's keeping me going. My to-do lists are getting longer and it seems like stuff on there reincarnates itself and I'm left with a never-ending stream of new things that just pop up.

But there's nothing like the satisfaction of crossing finished tasks out. So far, I've completed 2/3 exams, confronted my biggest worry twice, confronted the thing that hurts me most over 6 times, helped a friend realise and confront something important and tried to get all my university stuff sorted.

I've got one more exam to go and that's on Wednesday. After that, got loads of uni stuff to sort out, got loads of events coming up, in between all of that, I gotta make sure I'm there to help out at home. My gramma's been looking after us now that my mom's gone but I've got the feeling that I'm leaving her alone too much, so I need to make sure that I don't make her feel alone.

I've been very conflicted recently. I've realised that I want to be impressed by my relationships. I don't want to do all the work. I don't want to always be the one that gets hurt and burdened and disadvantaged the most in the end. It doesn't matter how quickly I can recover or whether I can at all. How you go out is as important as how long you fight for. I need to keep my dignity intact and invest my energy in people that actually try and make a difference to my life.It's really not worth getting hurt over and over again because you've been let down by people.

Take as much time as you can/need to get to know them. Know their personalities, observe them, notice all the little things. Spend time and laughter and good times with them. Be there for them in their bad times. Just take it slow. Be wiser than you were yesterday because a lot depends on you. You have so much more to live for, so many more people you're going to meet and experience. Always keep your mind open and don't keep anything in your heart that you know you will regret.

At the same time, learn how to excercise restraint. Enjoy being surprised by people and their gestures towards you. Don't panic about spaces. Maybe they're meant to be there, or maybe someone else will fill them up. You can't always fix everything and especially not all by yourself. Give someone else a chance to make you feel good. It's not selfishness, it's not indulgent, it's accepting that you have a right to feel the way you treat people. So make sure, you treat people right and fairly.

Gotta go back to revising English Lit., write soon, and have a good night (or day) everyone.

FightersAlwaysxx